July 13, 1977

32 years ago, we moved from Bemidji Minnesota, to Buffalo Missouri. Before Minnesota, I was born in Decatur Illinois and had never lived anywhere else except Illinois. I was thinking about all this, while on the tractor bush hogging. When we were thinking about getting this place, I asked God, if we could just somehow get this farm, I would never ask for anything again. At the time I was the ripe old age of 19, and didn't know anything about the Chinese Curse, "May you get what you ask For". The last 32 years have been bittersweet, I hate to say it, but there has been more bitter than sweet. If I had to do it over again, I would not. Do not ask me what I would have done, because I do not have a answer. I thought I was following God's Plan for my life and the precious baby girl He had entrusted in my care. Sometimes I think I have eaten way too many mixed nuts, after all you are what you eat. How can one pour their heart, soul, strength, and love into land, a way of life and end up empty? I would like an answer if anyone has it. We have survived, droughts, administrations of our government, who have built our economy on cheap food, Plague, the neighbors imported cows from Texas who had bangs. A rescued dog, drug up one of their fetus's and our Holsteins started aborting full term babies. It was horrible to live through. We had to blood test each cow for over a year, and had to brand and ship 20 something perfect milk cows to slaughter. To hear them scream while they branded them on the cheek, is something I will never forget. But you go on, and do the same thing every year, somehow hoping it will get better. I am still hoping.