Friday, February 19, 2010
My Last Post
I am new to all this blogging, and frankly it is to hard to put my thoughts down in journal let alone in a sphere for everyone to see. Times of late, have been more than I can bear, to write it down in my journal, somehow makes it real. I loose the bubble effect, like this cannot really be happening, but it is. Sara asked me to smile today, I think, or maybe, I do not think, or maybe I cannot think anymore, it just made me think. What a miserable failure I am, in every area of my life, everyone in this world has trials, tragedy and misfortune, they get up, move on, they put smiles on their faces and triumph. I am having a hard time, what is the matter with me I do not have a clue, but I cannot seem to do the latter. Maybe it is time to do some real soul searching, to get quiet and try to get some healing. So this is my last post, I didn't really have much to offer anyway, it is hard to be uplifting when your downtrodden. Although there are those who are, and I admire them.
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My dearest of mothers... You are not a failure. I keep telling you that, but as always you only listen to yourself. AND DO NOT even start with the well just look at my life and all that rot. You have a stubborn streak about you and then wonder why I am so stubborn. Just look in the mirror. :)
ReplyDeleteYou asked me what you could do for me, and I just said smile once and a while. That's all... I love you dearly and would do anything for you to be happy.
This blog is not a job nor is it something that is another area that you should think you need to make others happy, uplifted, and do and do for. Just relax, you can not figure it out, only God knows what is going on, and we can only do when know what to do and when to do. If we never know the why's in this world, we will later. And that has to be enough. Just relax... let God work it out. You know he is, I know he is... but we need to rest in this. And we both know we have troubles in this area. We are the doers... and it's hard not to want to do...
I love you...