In your patience posess ye your souls

This is a scripture I am hanging on to. It is found in Luke 21:19. A person's soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. My own soul has been in particular jeopardy of late. Everything seems to be too much too much, the least little thing upsets me to the point of tears or what is even worse, nothing I just feel nothing. I feel as if I am being crushed by a very heavy load, there is no human to help, it is my load to bear. The only help I do find is the Scriptures, It, is Written, I say many times a day, my time in Prayer, where I can unburden my cares, my failings, and my true feelings that I do not care to share with anyone else. My heavenly Father, is big enough, wise enough and just enough to handle my petitions, but sometimes I get very impatient for His answer's, there are times when I pray, I know just how my prayer should be answered. Sometimes I forget, His ways are higher and greater than my own way's. Case in point, Sparky, our Jersey, I can trace her linage all the way back to the original "S" her great grandmother Spooky. Sparky was having a calving problem, Sara had checked her and could make no headway, so we had to call the Vet, he couldn't make any head way either. All the time I was praying, Oh please, let him be able to get this calf and quickly,{ I was on a straw bale at the time, with goats chewing my hair]. Alters come in many shapes and sizes around here. The vet said, one more time and if I cannot get it, we will have to do a C-section. In all our years of dairying, we had never had to have a C-section, my prayers became all the more intense, and my head a little more bald, goats do actually chew hair off. I pleaded sincerely, but felt no headway in my prayer, he tried again but to no avail, so we began to prepare for surgery. For some odd reason, my fears went away, and when the vet asked "Are you girls up for the all the blood and gut's " we were ready, and both filled our parts to help him. We lost a beautiful heifer, but we saved a beautiful cow. And seeing what I saw, we could have saved other cows in the past. So the Lord did answer my prayer, just not the way I wanted but with much better results. And to see miss Sparky adopting all the little ones in the barn, makes me feel very grateful. I have much larger petitions before the Throne Room right now! All of them are life altering, there are times when I can hardly stand the supense of how He will answer, so I call on Patience to do her work in me, to steady my mind, to ecourage my will to stay strong, and to calm my emotions, when they just want to give in and call it quits. Thank you Lord for Patience!!